by Anna Wilson and Deanna Byck
images by Lex Anderson

The Soul

---

Life, love, passion, laughter, and music.

If someone were to ask me, “how do I live and create the fullest expression of myself”?

I would tell them I strive to have all those attributes swirling around my being so I can tangibly reach out and grab one (or maybe more) at any given time. Knowing I possess all these elements at my disposal—this is the fire behind my creativity.

I remember as a young child, I thought I could envision what my life would look like in the future. I would dream up chapters and paint fully formed and complete renditions of those dreams and how I would experience them. I don’t know that anyone thinks about the steps it takes to actually achieve one’s vision, but I knew in my heart that I wanted to be a musician/singer/artist. As I grew older I started to identify a rough sketch in my mind of how to get what I wanted, and started to puzzle together the key parts of my road map. It was reasonable, logical, perhaps even realistic—a “yin to my yang” idealist spirit—but when you are young you don’t know what you don’t know, you can’t guess at what you may need. Now, the conviction of love, the fire of creative passion, the experience of having a partner to share my dreams and desires, the secret language and dance we learn about another’s most intimate thoughts and being, are the fires that stoke the creative process in me.

Following a general sense of direction but lacking a step-by-step plan, I relied on faith, the intangible road map that was in my soul and trailed the breath of my desires. In doing so, I discovered new and different possibilities—proving the spirit knows best.

I recently wrote a song called “Drive” for a new album with my band Troubadour 77 that explores the concept of “The Chase.” My whole career in music has been, and continues to be, about that. Do we ever really stop chasing something, someone, some vision or feeling? Over the years, I discovered that by aligning myself with my own inner wise counsel, my methodology has transitioned from blind and haphazard desire to method, discipline and personal work—a much more sustainable approach that brings me peace and freedom.

How do I live and create the fullest expression of myself?

Anna Wilson

My song speaks in metaphorical terms about the pursuit of dreams in many facets of our lives; to climb the ladder, to find true and meaningful love, to find acceptance from ourselves and others, to find peace, simplicity and satisfaction in the present moment and to accept the gifts and blessings that are our lives. But the noise of chasing dreams can get loud, and the process of writing this song haunted me. The subject matter nagged at my spirit in such a way that I lost sleep, didn’t eat right and couldn’t function in social settings until the song was fully formed and birthed. It is such a personal insight of how I “process” my view of the world and my place in it, that until I completed it, I felt little peace.

Songs are vehicles for healing and change. They raise and expand our awareness and consciousness. They can promote social change and ultimately impact the world around us. It is my hope that my audience will understand the core message I am trying to communicate, so perhaps they can find their own deeper meaning and subsequent healing. The challenge is that sometimes a three-minute song is over so fast that it’s impossible for someone to receive all the nuances and wisdom lurking inside. And, I have to believe my work will find the people who are supposed to hear and understand it, just like the songs of my heroes found me. That’s the faith part of the journey. That’s the essence, the soul.

I have to believe my work will find the people who are supposed to hear and understand it, just like the songs of my heroes found me.

Anna Wilson

• 

• 

---

The Drive

---

My first album was called

The Long Way

for a lot of reasons.

Six years in the making, it had many songs themed about traveling in the pursuit of chasing dreams and love. Twenty years later I’m still taking the long way, but this time I found the scenic route and I am constantly learning how to enjoy the DRIVE. In the experience of writing this song I realized that I was going through my own healing process and coming to terms with the notion of the realignment of my own soul and dreams. Writing this song has helped me to marry my dream with my soul’s journey.

Let me break it down for you:

Wakin’ up with the dawn
Blinded by the breaking light
Chasin’ dreams that I hope to find
But never come
Maybe I’m the lucky one?
Yeah, I wonder

This first verse sets up the beginning of every journey once a dream is conceived. It acknowledges waking up with promise and a Utopian vision of what it’s going to be like when you set out on that journey. I use the breaking of the dawn as a metaphor for a fresh start. The sun symbolizes the dream, the star that sustains the reason for the quest. The fact that it is “blinding” gives power to its force in one’s life. However, as the road and the day go on, all that seems to be happening is an unfulfilled meandering. In that wandering, there is the possibility that the path you set out on is not yielding what you hoped for, and there is acknowledgment that perhaps that is okay.

One day I’ll settle the score
From the wins and the losses
Discover what it’s all for
And how heavy the cost is
Pullin’ in this tug of war
That I’m under

Even though we may realize that life’s curves and the weight of disappointments have brought pain, loss and detours, the dream is still driving the narrative. This verse describes the tension of trying to stay the course while you experience circumstances that are trying to throw you off.

On the Drive … Drive
On this ribbon I ride
Eastbound into the sun
Rising

But we are resilient, and we drive east towards progress and the beginning of a new day, where the sun is just starting to rise over the horizon symbolizing the possibilities.

It’s shinin’ right in my eyes
Yeah baby I can feel the burn
Lettin’ go what I never had
Was the lesson learned
It only ever made me sad
Never loved me back

The sun/the dream with its strong and powerful pull compels you to stare and focus only on it, but that’s when it starts to burn and have negative effects. Obsession and hyper focus can be detrimental to the spirit, and so we must learn to look away to save our vision—literally and figuratively. We must let go of something we cannot hold. And, we cannot hold or control the sun/the dream. On “the drive”, we must learn to accept that we can’t always get the brass ring; the impetus for the journey in the first place. We realize that we’ve set up an unattainable situation causing discontentment and sadness. To learn how to accept this fact can sometimes be the whole purpose of the dream.

Now I cry … cry
Not for the light in my eyes
But all the years and the miles

However, when acceptance is achieved, there are tears of grief and mourning for the loss, but there are also tears of relief and joy from finally escaping the imprisonment that a dream can have on one’s personal growth. The first “cry” is for tears of sorrow and disappointment. The second “cry” is for tears of release and freedom. Yet, all tears are brought about by the initial chasing of the dream. Although the years and miles of one’s life may feel like they have been lost in the pursuit, in the acceptance, the future years and miles have just been gained. As the wisdom of the Tao says, there is an opposite reaction to everything.

On the Drive … Drive
On this ribbon I ride
Westbound into the sun
Setting

After acceptance happens and peace has been made, the drive turns westward toward the setting sun and the resolution of the day’s end. The struggle has now led to a new road. One that is not seen without the initial calling.

Over me
Are the north aurora lights
Where the golden sun
Rains silver in the night
Callin’ to the many lost pilgrims in the fight
Who drive … drive … drive
Bring ‘em back to the light

At last, the journey points to one’s TRUE NORTH. The Aurora Borealis lights dance when the golden sun rains silver particles in the night sky. The sun is a metaphor for the dream that started at ‘dawn’. When broken apart, it too rains bright light and color in the darkness of one’s soul; recycling its essence and reforming into a spectacle that is even more powerful and farther reaching than when it started, thus revealing the dawn of one’s true self and destiny. That can only happen when you follow your heart. You have the widest reach to help others on their journey, to find their true north, by operating from your own.

Drivin’ into the sun
Blinded by the breaking light
Chasin’ dreams that I hope to find
But never come
Maybe I’m the lucky one
Maybe I am the lucky one

Finally, the realization that the DRIVE never really ends but is just ongoing. We don’t ever have to stop chasing our dream(s). We come to realize “the chase” to push on is not about the destination but the journey.

This song took a month to write, and now it is a gift to me for the rest of my life. Every time I sing it in concert or hear it in my car I am reminded by my soul voice, centered within, just what my personal journey is all about. They say all the answers are inside you. Amid the noise of chasing our dreams we tend to forget and brush aside the inner wisdom of our spirit. I am guilty of it. When negative inner dialogue deters me from my dream’s path, I now practice “re-writing the story” in my mind’s eye. As the author of my own story, I reflect on positive messages that will get me closer to the path of my vision. Even if I don’t get the exact outcome I seek, I am certain I won’t get a negative or self-sabotaged one. I am grateful I have the words of this song to remind me of this as I roll on, continue to write my story and DRIVE.

Anna Wilson is an award-winning songwriter and critically acclaimed recording artist on Transfer Records.
You can find her music on iTunes, Spotify, etc.

---

To learn more about her music and story please visit her websites
annawilson.com
troubadour77.com
songsessions.com

---